before there
was banjo, there was ¡Schitt! ê! ü! æ!.
¡Schitt! ê! ü! æ! was a one week side project
formed by Jak (as Bull Schitt), Daniel (as Jack Schitt) and Bryan (as Ferdinand
Schitt) and played two sets at the Neutral Ground Coffeehouse in New Orleans.
The group's intention was stated at the introduction of their sets:
"Ladies
and gentlemen, once again at the Neutral Ground, three musicians of astounding
talent are going to come together and use none of it. We are ¡Schitt! ê!
ü! æ!"
The project was intended as a lampoon of a typical open microphone night at the
Neutral Ground, as long-winded political speakers and talentless musicians were
usually the bulk of the sign-in sheet at these events.
Prior to the introduction, the three would each grab a pair of spoons from the
counter and bang them together on their way up to the stage for anywhere from
a few seconds to about a minute before dropping them on the ground and leaving
them there. Following the introduction, a song or two would be played using the
Neutral Ground's house instruments (a classical guitar, a piano, conga drums and
a tambourine) as loudly and as badly as possible. After this, Daniel would give
a speech for some fictional political campaign for minutes straight (the first
was Kthulhu For President, the last was Jack Schitt For Tahitian Ambassador) and
then the group would close with a song or two, performed even worse than the first
song and usually breaking one of the house instruments in the process. The inevitable
heckling at ¡Schitt! ê! ü! æ!'s sets was always met with
loud and profane boasts along the lines of "shut up, we're the best band
in the world".
¡Schitt! ê! ü! æ! performed at the Neutral Ground's open
microphone nights on July 13 and July 20, 2003, the latter of which ended with
Daniel shattering the Neutral Ground's tambourine against the conga.
Obviously, they were never offered a real show at the Neutral Ground, or anywhere
else.
This ethic of "the worst band ever" was applied three years later for
an obnoxious punk band called "banjo" which is somehow still going.
Here you can watch a video
with audio from the only recorded performance (July 20, 2003's).